I dunno if it really read in my journal, but I was extremely damn miserable yesterday XD;; When I'm depressed I tend to hold back when I whine and rant in my journal because I always feel it's not my watchers' problem and no-one wants to read about some-one whining XDD;;; is that good or bad of me? I think I do it because things are NEVER as bad as they seem so if I whine I know it'll sound as if things are TERRIBLE when it's really just me feeling down.

Well anyway! Today I'm feeling much MUCH better I fell asleep as soon as I... uhm.... stopped reading comics XDDDD which means I got at least 7 hours of sleep, which means I WASN'T half dead today for once in my life! XDD seriously you guys have no idea how little I sleep during the week. I often go 2 or 3 days with only 4 hours of sleep a night. So actually sleeping properly for a night really helped.

I sat down with my lecturer Joe and he helped me sort out a whole BUNCH of stuff regarding my character. So now I KNOW how to orientate his joints and create his blend shapes. His eyes are also finally sorted out so they stay in his head XD and they don't lag the computer anymore which is good 8D; Now with all that done I feel back on track and can focus on the other hundred things that need to be finished. At least I know HOW to do stuff now. That's obviously what was depressing me the most regarding my work. When people lecture to me on the big screen the information rarely ever sticks in my brain, but sit down and show me how to do it in front of me I get it in a heartbeat and remember it. Joe knows this and is patient, both showing me and then making me repeat the action on a separate part of the character.

Life Drawing went pretty good today. We were doing PORTRAITS!! and although I had a rocky start and started repeating mistakes I would make from last year Clint quickly set me straight and I did a little better later. I need to practice portraits XD;;

Stan Sakai's Editor got back to me today no word from Stan himself but that's actually perfectly ok. At the very least it means they got my e-mail. It would have been nice if Stan got back to me himself but originally I didn't even know if he would even READ my letter, so even if I never ever hear from any-one ever again I'm happy X3 a little sad yes, but happy nonetheless. I have no right to be sad amirite? XDDD that would be insanely selfish and ungrateful of me! Sooo... I guess this closes the chapter on this excitement! waa X'D no fair. Oh well. I'll just have to make magic happen in my life again at some stage somehow. Although to be honest I'm not really sure what I could do to top this. I'll let you guys know when the poster gets here and take photos.. hoping it gets here in one piece XD;;

Incidentally, Stan's editor wasn't sure which issue exactly my letter will be in (Her assistant will get back to me on that) But it'll be in one of the thinbacks (Floppy comic) after February.
...How am I gonna get myself a copy? DDDD'8 *Or several copies for that matter) I'm out of Canada in March and we don't get floppy Usagi comics in South Africa!! WHAT AM I GONNA DO??!

In other news, I've been getting a lot of positive energy from quite a few of you here on dA. I don't really know why but it's been a very good source of motivation like.. ..stuff for this rather melancholic period of time. So thank you very much for that I don't wanna thank people by name specifically because I don't want to make the rest of you feel bad

I seem to be commenting on every Usagi story I read the night before XD;; but people have told me they don't mind. SO IMMA KEEP DOIN IT! .....with that said not much to say about the latest story XDDDD *fails* That doesn't mean it was bad! Hell it was AWESOME, but there's little to comment on... except the fact that I feel I really do feel I understand the significance of the samurai sword a whole lot better, and not in an animu 'omg they're so cooooool' kinda way either! The next time I see a true mastered samurai sword in a museum I can now look at it and understand everything that went into making it (more or less). Then again I'm sure that that was Stan's intention all along, making us connect emotionally with a weapon, considering the focus of the story.

Usagi himself made me feel uneasy in this story, but again this is obviously done on purpose. Again, it was a story that's... hmmm... I don't want to say 'difficult to read' because that makes it sound like the comics are an ordeal to get through and they really really aren't XDDD I only say that because I'm a wacko who takes a loooong time to read a comic because I'm imagining every sound of the environment, every sensation of the sun, the wind, the surroundings and whatever else the characters might be experiencing in each panel. This usually means I take HOURS to read certain things, but that's how I like it. But of course, this removes me from the safe cozy position of 'casual observer' so when things go bad for the characters it's hard to get through for me XD;; so that's my reason for always saying that.

Anyway! Usagi made me feel uneasy in this story. He was obviously distressed and to be honest I really don't blame him and understand his mental state completely... but I felt he was losing himself. That made me sad to read. But I'm optimistic that his mood will improve in the next story.

NOW! I wanna draw something but what? I wanna draw something.. ...more reptiley XDD but what could our favourite shellbacks be doing? hmm... *walks away thoughtfully*